This is my testimony via song. I get really personal on this one. Before you listen, just know and understand that this is 100% real and transparent. If God can use despicable me, He can truly use anybody. It’s time us Christian folks get real about our struggles rather than acting “Holier than Thou”. If Jesus didn’t act that way, then what makes us think we should, for real. 🙏🏾
Gamers! Hip-Hop lovers! This song is for you! Everyone loves Pac-Man, so check out Pac-Trap, my newest encouraging Christian Hip-Hop track!
Many of you know me as “Your Neighborhood Hope Dealer”, serving up hope to all of those in need through music, poetry, and encouraging writing. What many people don’t know are the battles I face daily, working to overcome. I keep a lot in because my nature is to help others, not complain. Because that is not right to do, I’ve decided to start a new series of short writings entitled, “Moments of Transparency” to get more personal with my audience. This is the first installment, “Testimony Time”. Enjoy!
Report from my doctor’s visit: All of my bloodwork came back excellent, praise God! After being in and out of doctor’s offices, urgent care facilities, and emergency rooms 6 times in the past 8 month’s, it has been a ride with my health. They contributed my spikes in blood pressure and panic attacks to my GAD diagnosis (General Anxiety Disorder), hereditary factors, stress mainly driven by fear of Covid-19, fear of family/friend loss, oversaturation of social media, and other external and subconscious factors. I was advised to continue to meet with my mental health therapist, do meditations daily, breathing exercises, yoga, and self care. My mind had my body in a state of panic, and the physical effects of that are so real! I wrote all of this to say that mental health is so important y’all. It put into perspective for me why Christ said “Do not worry about your life” in Matthew 6. Why Paul said “Do not conform to the patterns of thinking of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” in Romans 12. Moral of the story.. Give it to God and protect your mental state. This is my testimony. Praising God for His grace and mercy on my mind, body, and soul! 🙌🏾
Do you remember in the past how puppy love and infatuation used to make you feel? Think back to middle school, high school, and college. Valentine’s Day was something that many of us looked forward to! As a boy, this was my chance to win big in front of my peers! For many of us, flowers, candy, teddy bears, hand-written notes, and other items filled our minds as we strived to impress that one girl! Ah yes, many of us at that time created fantasies in our minds on how our dream relationship situation would look like! If this was not your story, I understand the other side too! The heartbreak side of Valentine’s Day! Afterall, my Sophomore year in High School I broke up with a girlfriend on February 14th, because I caught her kissing someone else! I’ve been through the rejection, the heartache, and the young pain side of this sometimes awkward holiday as well. At any rate, it’s good to look back and see your own personal growth, whether it was a blessing or a lesson.
Fast-forward life to your adult years. This world has the amazing tendency to suck the life out of love and our relationships. Between work, children, church responsibilities, hobbies, and passions, it is easy to get lost in a never-ending spiral of “notpayingattentionness” to what’s important. I am guilty of this myself. Many of you know that I am remarried and am blessed with a beautiful blended family that includes 4 children. My oldest daughter is a senior in high school, varsity cheer captain, lacrosse captain, and does everything in between. We stay busy with her activities, preparing her for college, so on and so forth. My 2 boys are both in middle school, which is another blog in and of itself! Those of us with middle school aged children reading this blog know what I am talking about! Ha! My baby girl is 9 years old and full of spunkiness! Her personality is so mature that there are days we say, “Is she 9 or 19?” Life is so busy all of the time. Many times my wife and I only see each other for a few minutes per day! Oh, and I forgot to mention that my wife is furthering her education as well, which I am so proud of her for going back to school! Still, we have to be so intentional when it comes to one another. If we don’t, days will go by and we get lost in the whirlwind of everyday life! Is there anyone reading this with the same struggle? In my best preacher voice, “Can I get a witness?!”
I am here to encourage you! Just know that as we grow in age and experience, the struggles that our relationships and marriages go through are not only completely normal, but I believe are God allowed or God ordained! Why do I say that? Think of our examples in the bible. Adam and Eve’s relationship transitioned later in life when they had children. Of course we know the story of how Adam fell and the result of his fall in the book of Genesis, but they continued in fellowship with God and through their bloodline came the very Savior in Jesus Christ who would restore man back to God. Jesus is even referred to as the “Second Adam” by many in Christian circles. Fast forward slightly and look at Abraham and Sarah. Through all of the struggles that they went through they eventually brought Issac into the world, then Jacob their grandson. Through his lineage, this fulfilled God’s promise regarding the Abrahamic Covenant and his seed. It was another building block eventually leading up to Jesus! There are countless other examples of couples in the bible that overcame challenges and issues, but I hope you get the idea. Not every struggle is punishment. Not every pain is cause and effect. Some hardships are from God or God allowed, so a greater good, a greater glory, can pour forth from the cistern of His almighty throne of grace.
I personally believe that God ordained marriage. Because of this, I decided to encourage the people through this blog along with my new song by the same title, “Once In A Lifetime”. This song may be a reflection of my story with my wife on YouTube, but I hope that it encourages someone out there not to give up on love. Whether you are single or married, this song is for you. Why? Because I’ve been on both sides. I was a single father for a while between marriages! I know the heartache, the pain, the good times and everything in between! This is my first new release in a while and it is something positive to celebrate love, just in time for Valentine’s Day! Since I’m not on social media at the moment (fasting), check out this link below for “Once In A Lifetime” released today, and feel free to share it with your spouse if you have one or other friends! God bless you all- Your Neighborhood Hope Dealer 🤟🏾
Happy Valentine’s Day folks!
Greetings friends and fellow bloggers, it’s me C.P. The Vintage Retroman, YOUR Neighborhood HOPE Dealer! It’s so hard to believe that it has been 4 whole years since I started my blog, http://www.vintageretroman.com on 01/15/2017! I started this mission with a vision: To bring the cultures of the past to the present, to spread hope and encouragement, and to educate and entertain through writings, poetry and songs. I am happy to report that despite the challenges of life, God has sustained me to still be here in 2021!
Recently, I have been thinking alot about the future. My children are now 17, 14, 11, and 9 years old, so much of my time has been invested in making sure they have everything that they need. With the current turmoil going on in the United States, I am hoping for a better future for my children. With that being said, this past year with COVID-19 we have connected on a level that we have never been on.
During the time I was working from home, I introduced them to a lot of classic music from the 70’s and 80’s, and I started making my own music and using samples from the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. All of my music is on my YouTube channel, free of charge! (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCllZ2c5bmKo_qwoHbzLguJQ) I believe that my kids have gained a greater appreciation for the cultures of the past. I know I have. Sometimes it is an escape from what we have to deal with.
My wife blessed me with a Nintendo Switch for Christmas 2020. It’s funny, because I have found myself playing more of the older NES and SNES games in comparison to the newer games. It’s something about the way they make me feel. They take me back to a simpler time in life. A time before hardship, before responsibility. A time when I didn’t have to be a serious teacher of youth called my children. A time when my biggest fear was if I would get picked on by girls for my haircut, or my parents buying the wrong video game because it was cheaper in price!
One big change this past year was the birth of my nickname, “YOUR Neighborhood Hope Dealer!” I got this name from the Friday night Christian Hip-Hop parties I was hosting on Facebook live from April 2020- August 2020, at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic in the summer. I started thinking, “People need hope like fiends need dope”, so I ran with it! It has really caught on well! My audiences on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube love it! I love music of all types, so I am glad that God blessed me with a gift to help people with it!
I will end this blog post with some original lyrics from one of my songs, entitled “Some Real Talk” ft. my oldest daughter Zaria, aka Z Bank. 🙂
“Cause’ Hindsight’s 2020/ I’ve got the Spirit of God that’s flowing right through me/ I know my worth when the enemy is lurking/ I push up, hands in the air, so they call me burpee!/ and surely, by now yes you know what I’m all about/ Your Neighborhood Hope dealer coming out the south/ A hybrid of hip-hop, the old with the novel/ A fusion of the past and present, call me time travel!”
If you would like to listen to “Some Real Talk!” ft Z. Bank, here is the link: https://youtu.be/QrcKJeoMLRA God bless you all in 2021! 🙂