The Official Vintage Retroman Video Game Story

In year 23xx, the world as we know it was peaceful. After decades of war, bloodshed, and tears the planet Thothar was finally at peace. The robot apocalypse was over and humans finally began to rebuild their broken world. A world once ruled by depression, anxiety, mental illness, and evil was no more. Also, the ways of the past had been completely forgotten.

As the Robot Generation now lived at peace with the human race, rebuilding took place faster than ever. Several members of the Robot Generation were advanced architects, and the quickly created new infrastructure. The leader of the Robot Generation was creater Dr. Yvonne, who made them to be an asset to the humans. All was well, until one day there was discovered to be a software glitch that stemmed from a virus manufactured by the evil scientist T-Mac the Terrible. She created these viruses during the tech boom of the 1990’s, but because they were dormant for so many years people simply thought they were destroyed by 1st and 2nd generation anti-virus software.

One day as Dr. Yvonne was at an event unveiling a new generation of peaceful robots, it was sabotaged when T-Mac glitched her new line of “Super Droids” or “SD’s”, an elite lineup of ultra bots with drone capabilities. The Super Droids were comprised of the following robot leaders, each equipped with the power of their name to use against humanity:

1) Depression Man

2) Anxiety Man

3) Fear Man

4) Jealousy Man

5) Hate Man

6) Slander Man

7) Addiction Man

8) Confusion Man

The Robot Generation was almost completely destroyed by the power and actions of these evil beings, partially due to the fact that humans couldn’t work with the Robot Generation because their minds and emotions were controlled by the Super Droids power. Terror ran amuck in the southern region of Thothar again, and Dr. Yvonne knew she had to do something or the world would be destroyed.

She started working on a top secret project codenamed CDZJJJ, or project CD for short. Along with her fellow comrades ZB, NickZ, CounterFlordan, and CoolieJ, they worked nonstop under the most intense conditions underground. With most of the human race destroyed, Dr. Yvonne fused the human DNA of former Robot Generation lead programmer Cornelius Calhoun with an elite lightweight robot armor and named him Vintage Retroman, or V.R. for short. The named was developed because Cornelius loved the retro culture of his youth and spoke frequently about it.

As V.R. went through strenuous training, he gained strength and eventually set out on a mission to defeat the Super Droids! He knew that along with the strength of his armor, it was essential for him to be mentally ready to face the challenges of each Super Droid. As he battled and defeated each SD, he was granted their power! Power over depression, power over anxiety, power over fear, and so on! He would then take the power of overcoming these weaknesses and not only use them against his other enemies, but also grant strength back to the remaining humans in Thothar and give them courage.

Eventually V.R. defeated each leader and it was time for his final showdown with Dr. T-Mac. With his armor weakened from battle inside of a great fortress stronghold, T-Mac was a formidable villain. As hard as Vintage Retroman fought, Dr. T-Mac had years to plan and prepare for this. Every negative attack thrown at V.R. deeply penetrated his armor and damaged him. As T-Mac prepared to destroy him, in the 11th hour she felt weakness from within and her stronghold shook violently. What was happening she thought?

Dr. Yvonne remembered that T-Mac’s stronghold had a weakness. She remotely cracked into T-Mac’s computer system and disabled all of her weapons. Vintage Retroman mustered up enough strength to grab his blaster and deliver the final blow to T-Mac the terrible and the evil empire!

As the team that created the CDZJJJ project searched for Vintage Retroman, they eventually found him. He was beaten, battered and scorn almost to the point of death. They picked him up and carried him back to the lab.

As Dr. Yvonne removed his burnt up cracked armor, she look into the eyes of Cornelius Calhoun. “It’s finally over sir, you did it Cornelius. You saved Thothar!” As he looked up at her he stated “We did it Dr. Yvonne” with a slight smile. As he rested his head, Dr. Yvonne slowly reached down and kissed him in his weakened state. “I hope this gives you strength” she said with a smile. Cornelius was pleasingly shocked and said, “I didn’t even know you liked me.” Dr. Yvonne responded “Well, i couldn’t admit it because as you know i am no damsel in distress. I’m just as much in the fight against evil as you are. Now that the fight is over, let’s rebuild this world, and our lives together!” Cornelius responded “I’d love that!”, and they held each other and enjoyed the peace for a change. This is my story. Signing off for now,


Samus- Destined For Greatness- Part 3 (The Memoir)

Inside my deepest thoughts, there are complexities that I cannot explain. Inside my
deepest fears, I am nothing special. My name is Samus Aran, now a bounty hunter who separated from the Galactic Federation Police, yet I still have ties to the organization. It’s been years since I rescued that little girl who was about to be destroyed by space pirates in part 2 of my story. As far as that event, I made it out alive but my relationship with some key figures of the police are forever tarnished. The commanding officer Adam Malkovich won’t even speak to me anymore, and we once had a great relationship. In my never ending pursuit to defeat the evil Ridley and Mother Brain, I must be strong as a woman. Still, there are parts of me that I cannot show, because emotion can be taken as weakness. Because of this, I choose to express my feelings in this personal memoir in hopes of not being judged.

Since 1986, I have been regarded as a hero. I wear the title with pride as the first major female protagonist in video game history. Still, under this power suit I am wearing there is a physical person with limitations and weaknesses. Similarly, when you peel back the layers of my heroism there are wounds, scars, and deep questions I long for the answer to. How would my life had been if my parent’s lived? What if the Chozo’s never adopted me? How would my life be different if Ridley never attacked my home planet of K-2L? What ever happened to my little brother Solomon Aran? What type of relationship would have developed? I wonder what life would have been like as a regular kid?

To the readers of this memoir, I was called to be an intergalactic warrior. I just want to now how does it feel to be normal? To those on planet Earth, I have listened to stories about people going to school to learn. I heard that boys escort girls to this thing called a “Prom”. How does that feel? What is it like to fall in love with someone, or go out on a date, or get married? To the career women, how does it feel to wear a business suit and go into an office, making important decisions? Being a bounty hunter is a lonely life, but I do it to one day avenge the evil creatures that created this life for me in the first place. There is one other issue I must address in this memoir.

To my reader, for years people thought it was a man in this power suit. When I was introduced in 1986, people either did not realize who I was, or just didn’t respect me. There are plenty of men in my field of work. I am personal friends with a few characters from the original Nintendo lineup, such as Mario, Link, Lil Mac and Donkey Kong for starters. We even starred in a game together called Super Smash Bros. I have always been friends with those guys and can hang with the “big boys”. Some have even asked if myself and Mega Man are 1st cousins, which that is yet to be determined.

See, that’s me in the middle. 🙂

I respect their platforms and they respect mine. But when it comes to leaving a legacy for women in our craft, just remember that I paved the way for future women in gaming such as Laura Croft from Tomb Raider, Jill Valentine from Resident Evil, or Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy VII, among many others. I say this not to brag, but to make you understand that women in this field have made a tremendous impact on millions of fans around the world in gaming. My story is just one, but it is the first and I want to make it known that through all of my struggles I am proud to be the woman I am. I hope that this entry to my memoir serves you all well. Of course I am out in the field fighting space pirates as we speak, but Vintage Retroman please feel free to share this entry with your readers, in case if I don’t make it back. Thank you V.R. for believing in me and recognizing that I was destined for greatness. Signing off,

Samus Aran

Samus- Destined For Greatness- Part 2 (The Special Assignment)

Federation Police HQ

(Federation Police roll call) Samus Aran! Samus Aran! Are you here? Do you copy?

(Samus hesitates, thinking to herself) “Uggh, I am so sick and tired of these meetings.” She then whispers to her squadmates Kreatz and Mauk, “Don’t you guys ever get tired of these long drawn out meetings by chief?” They respond with with a low yet resounding “yes”.

(Samus speaks to Federation Police Chief Hardy aggressively) Present! I am here Chief! Present! Present! Present!

(Police Chief Hardy) Ok, perfect. The roll call is done, everyone is present! Now to get down to business. Today ladies and gentlemen, we embark on a journey that will go down in the history books as one of the greatest undertakings that the Federation Police has ever spearheaded. This assignment is one that will no doubt take courage, and test your will as a department. As you look on our intergalactic map, you see here that the human occupied planet Jigrad has recently been under attack by those same evil Space Pirates that attacked K-2l in the past.

(Chief Hardy continues) Our leadership suspects that Ridley is behind all of this. They have enslaved the inhabitants of that planet, making this a very dangerous situation. Because of the advanced skill and abilities of those space pirates, I have decided to forgo a full frontal assault initially. Strategically, our leadership weighed the risk of that and determined that casualties would be at an all time high. As a result of this revelation after much consideration, we have decided to send in our elite “Star-Tracker” division first, lead by Samus Aran.

(Samus) Uggh, chief………….permission to speak?

(Police Chief Hardy) Sure Samus, what’s up?

(Samus) Um, you do realize that it is only myself, Kreatz, and Mauk in that division here don’t you?

(Police Chief Hardy) Hahahahaha, of course I do Samus! That’s why we promoted you. Look at it from this perspective, who is more qualified than Ms. Aran to take out Ridley? We have upgraded your new power suit, you will have a full arsenal of weapons, and everything you need to handle this special stealth mission. Think about it Samus, think about the glory! Think about you going down in history as the woman to save this planet! Think of all those people you will free. Think about your name in lights! Samus! Samus! Samus!

(Samus responds) Chief, you always have been a master salesman. Uggh, do I really have a choice in the matter anyway?

(Police Chief Hardy smiles) Nope, that’s why they pay you the big bucks! 🙂

(Samus) Uggh, ok. Come on Kreatz and Mauk. We are heading out……….

**Samus’s ship flies discretely onto planet Jigrad, and while searching through the jungles of destruction they stumble upon a slave child.**

(Samus whispering) Shhhh, do you guys hear that? It sounds like a young girl whimpering.

(Kreatz and Mauk respond) Samus stay on mission, we have no time to rescue a kid. Remember chief’s orders! This is a suicide mission anyway, don’t add even more risk to it Samus! We have to complete our orders before the rest of the Federation Police can invade! Now come on!

(Samus) Look guys, I was a young girl like her once when the Chozo’s rescued me! These pirates will kill her! Come on, where is your heart guys?

(Kreatz and Mauk respond) Samus, if you rescue her, you are on your own. We have orders from chief, and are not getting court-martialed because you are getting a little “soft around the edges” for some kid!

(Samus) Fine! I’ll handle it on my own! I am not going to let an innocent little girl die because of fear! After all, I was once that little girl!

**Samus runs off alone**

(Kreatz and Mauk look off as she goes alone) Why is she so stubborn all of the time? She brings these bad things upon herself!

(Samus approaches the little girl and whispers) Hey there, what’s your name?

**The little girl answers**


(Samus) Okay Damara, we are going to get you out of here. Come on….

**Samus hears a siren as she runs with the girl and a loud voice over an intercom**

Intruder!! You’re surrounded!!! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!!!

To be continued……

(Part 3 coming soon, stay tuned!)