Be encouraged by this quick song I wrote! Some days, you have to “Get Ya Power Up!” and know that no weapon formed against you shall prosper! God bless you all!
Be encouraged by this quick song I wrote! Some days, you have to “Get Ya Power Up!” and know that no weapon formed against you shall prosper! God bless you all!
The smoke cleared, the dust settled. A triumphant Link mounted Epona his horse, with the battle-tested Master Sword now resting in his sheath. It was a hard fought war in the land of Hyrule, with the evil Gannon finally destroyed and the three Triforce fragments united. Peace had once again returned to the land. As he rode across the lush green pastures of Hyrule Field, the warrior only has one subject on his mind and that was his queen, Princess Zelda, the daughter of Hyrule Kingdom.
As he made his way to the outer courtyard of Hyrule Castle, he stopped by the market and found the largest heart container necklace he could find for his queen. The man in the market asked him, “Are you sure that is the one you want Link? It cost $500 rupees!” Link responded to the store owner, “A wise old man once told me, It’s dangerous to go alone, so I’d better take this!” Both Link and the man erupted in laughter. That store owner was actually the grandson to the old man in the cave when Link first set out to save the Hyrule Kingdom.
The storekeeper said “Alright Link, I will tell you what. If you promise to always be faithful and always do right by Zelda, I will give you a 20% future king discount. After all, once you marry Zelda you will become king of all of Hyrule Kingdom.” “DEAL!” Link shouted and pulled out $400 rupees from his wallet and paid the owner. She has to agree to marry me first though! They both laughed intently as Link walked away with the beautiful piece of jewelry.
As he mounted his horse, he heard a soft and seductive “Hello Link”. As he turned around he couldn’t believe his eyes! “Wait, are you…..Sa…Sa…Saria?” She paused for a minute to give him a chance to catch his breath. “Yes Mr. Link, it’s me, Saria your old friend from the Kokiri Forest. How have you been?” Link was speechless, he hadn’t seen her since he was young and she was all grown up now smiling at him. Flashbacks came back into his mind of the time when he was first called to leave the forest when he set out on his journey to save Hyrule.
They were best friends and grew up together in the forest. “We have got to catch up Link! I heard that you saved Hyrule, and because of that, the veil was lifted that kept us in captivity in the Forest. For the first time in my life, I was able to leave that place. You were the first person I thought about when I left Link. I am so glad I found you!” Link responded, “Wow Saria, I am glad to see you. Look at you girl, you look amazing! I can’t believe it!”
Link slipped the heart container necklace he had purchased for Zelda into his pocket and said to Saria “Wow, it’s been so long! How are things in the forest? How is your family? Is your cousin Mido still as mean as he always has been?” They both started laughing. “Oh Link, everything is just fine now, thanks to you!” Saria ran up and not only embraced Link with a heartwarming hug but threw herself onto him as they both laughed together with childlike glee. She gently caressed Link’s face with her soft hands and looked into his eyes. “Thank you for being the man you are, Link.” **It is important to note that Saria was unaware of Link’s ties with princess Zelda and oblivious to the entire situation that Link was about to enter into with her.**
At that exact moment between the town and the gate of the castle, Princess Zelda watched from a distance roughly about 15 yards away. The position of the Temple of Time blocked her from view so they could not see her. “Do my eyes deceive me?” Zelda said to herself. She looked on intently. Link was embracing Saria, who she also remembered from their childhood. Zelda mentioned in her last letter to Link (see part 2 of this series) about how she felt concerning his friendship with Saria from the forest. She ran back towards the castle weeping bitterly. Since Link had just saved Hyrule, the King gave her permission to actually leave the security of the castle and wait for him inside the gate. A homecoming of a sort, that now felt like a homewrecking party. Zelda ran past all of the palace guards, into her room and sobbed by her window.
Meanwhile, back in the town after about 30 minutes of conversation, Link had a moment of reality to sink in. He was in love with Zelda. His heart sinked, his countenance changed. “Saria, I have something to tell you.” Saria smiled innocently as she waited for Link to ask her out on a date. She happily asked, “What is it Link?” He pulls out the beautiful heart container necklace from his pocket and explained to Saria “Do you remember when we were kids you told me that you just wanted me to be happy? I have a confession to make.” “What is it Link?” she stated as she looked worried. “Saria, I am in love with Princess Zelda and I am about to propose to her. I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again and…” Saria frowned and said “oh” and looked down as if she had lost her whole world. “I understand Link, thank you for being honest. I’ll be heading back to the forest now.”
“Saria wait! I never meant to hurt you!” Link exclaimed to her. “You didn’t Link, I hurt myself and because I love you, I have to do what’s right. Take care, my friend.” At that very moment, Sarah was led by her guardian ferry back to the forest. Link just stood there for a minute, shocked and still in disbelief. He cared deeply for Saria. He couldn’t believe that his desires led him away to another woman, even if it was just a conversation. Being a man, he took a moment for self-examination and then took action.
“Come on Epona! It’s time for me to go see my queen! I’m coming, Zelda!💗” As Link rode up to the castle entrance, he received nothing but cold stares and hostility from the palace guards. “Seize him!” One of the guards yelled. At that very moment, a group of the royal police officers took Link and threw him in the lower courts of the castle. Link was shocked. It was there where he was confronted by an angry and heartbroken princess Zelda.
“How DARE you betray me Link! I have waited for you through everything. I saved myself for YOU and remained a single woman! Do you have any idea how many other princes I have turned down from other kingdom’s waiting for YOU? I wrote to you when you were battle-tested and weary! What do you have to say for yourself? I’m gonna tell you right now, It will be Hell in all of Hyrule before I let you or anyone else take advantage of me! You must have forgotten who the Hell I am! I told you before I am Princess Zelda, and I am no damsel in distress! If you want one of them, you better go find that little forest tramp I saw you all hugged up with! I forget her name, but I remember her from our childhood. Now, you are allowed to address me!”
“Zelda” Link very carefully said. “Nothing happened between Saria and I in the market. It was the first time I had saw her since we were kids, and all we did was play catch up. Yes she hugged me and we embraced, but that is only because she didn’t know about us. The moment I told her that I was in love with you she backed off and went into the forest. It was my fault for letting it get that far, but I promise it is not what you think Zelda”
“You expect me to believe that sir! I’m not as dumb as you look Link! I’ll be calling the guards to escort you out and take you to Death Mountain sir. The Goron rock people can have their way with you for all I care! You don’t mess with royalty, sir. GUARDS!” As the soldiers closed in on a terrified Link and grabbed him, a voice came from the front of the room. “That won’t be necessary.”
Zelda angrily yelled, “Who are you to disobey my direct orders!” Suddenly Saria appears, escorted by the guards. Link and Zelda both looked puzzled. Zelda ties her golden locks into a ponytail and stated: “I’m about to handle this myself!” As she angrily approached Saria with clinched fists about to wail on her, Saria at the last moment pulls out a stunning heart container necklace. “Hey Link, you dropped Princess Zelda’s necklace in the market. You left the price tag on it. $400 rupees is a steep price to pay so I can tell you must really love her and don’t want to lose her.” Here you go! She gave the necklace to Link and looked into the eyes of a perplexed princess Zelda.
“Girl, Link loves you. He is in love with you. You can think what you want to think about me, but I promise nothing happened. We only caught up on old times. I know women of your caliber typically look down on girls like me, being from the forest and all. I know, you are royalty. I have heard all of the stories from people in my village. That is fine Zelda, but don’t punish Link for your insecurities. He is too good of a man for that. I’ll be headed back to the forest now. Link, do the right thing.”
“Wait!” Zelda yelled as the guards walked with Saria to escort her out. “Join us for dinner in the royal ballroom so we can talk.” Saria responded “No thanks. Not really my thing. I’m a simple girl. Goodbye” At that moment the guards escorted Saria out. Zelda was stunned at the turn of events. As she slowly turned around and looked into Link’s disappointed face with the palace guards around, she very lightly apologized to him. It was a crossroads moment for Link after all his actions were not perfect in the situation either. He realized that he needed her grace and understanding just as much as she needed his. His conscience and guardian spirit convicted him of his behavior.
“I am sorry as well Zelda. I am sorry that the container that holds your heart was for a moment split into 4 pieces. Allow me to collect them and put them together again.” At that very moment, Link pulled back out the beautiful necklace, put it around her neck, and asked Zelda, “Will you still marry a foolish, imperfect, Hyrule warrior like me?” *This type of proposal was the standard in Hylian culture.* Princess Zelda responded with a resounding “YES! Only if you can still marry an insecure, strong-willed, broken woman of power like me!” Link responded, “Nothing would make me happier my queen!”
The guards erupted in praise as they left following the newly engaged couple! They both mounted Epona and rode all around the Hyrule Castle town! The king of Hyrule ordered a decree and the Royal Guard sounded trumpets for everyone to stop working and meet in the courtyard for the engagement celebration! What a beautiful wedding that would take place in this very courtyard in a few months and the Royal Family was notified. As they celebrated, Princess Zelda whispered something in his ear and he said with a smile, “That’s a great idea, but only if you are sure………”
(Fast forward 9 months in present tense)
As Link stands in front of the Great Deku Tree, he is holding back tears as he waits for his bride to be. He cannot believe that Zelda and the King actually agreed to having a destination wedding in his home town of the Kokiri Forest, and not at the Hyrule Castle. This was a huge break in tradition and custom for the Royal Family. This meant so much to him. As he waits patiently and the wedding party is being introduced, he can’t believe his eyes! Zelda was humble enough to ask Saria to be her maid of honor! She slowly walked down the aisle, smiles at Link, and takes her place on the stage. “Congratulations, Hero. You deserve this. You have a great woman in Zelda. Like I told you many years ago, we will always be friends. Now, go get your blessing sir.”
The moment is now, Zelda is showing her dress to the forest crowd. She looks truly stunning! All of the forest people are astonished at her royal beauty. As she walks down the aisle crying, Saria is humbly playing “Zelda’s Lullaby” on her brown ocarina, the song that Link had written for Zelda back when they were kids. Link’s eyes are welled up with joy. This, my friends, is how legends are made. I know it to be true, because I, Vintage Retroman am currently at the wedding ceremony watching it all happen with tears in my own 2 eyes. They just said, “I do” and the rest is history.
The end of the 3 part series (I hope you all enjoyed it)
In year 23xx, the world as we know it was peaceful. After decades of war, bloodshed, and tears the planet Thothar was finally at peace. The robot apocalypse was over and humans finally began to rebuild their broken world. A world once ruled by depression, anxiety, mental illness, and evil was no more. Also, the ways of the past had been completely forgotten.
As the Robot Generation now lived at peace with the human race, rebuilding took place faster than ever. Several members of the Robot Generation were advanced architects, and the quickly created new infrastructure. The leader of the Robot Generation was creater Dr. Yvonne, who made them to be an asset to the humans. All was well, until one day there was discovered to be a software glitch that stemmed from a virus manufactured by the evil scientist T-Mac the Terrible. She created these viruses during the tech boom of the 1990’s, but because they were dormant for so many years people simply thought they were destroyed by 1st and 2nd generation anti-virus software.
One day as Dr. Yvonne was at an event unveiling a new generation of peaceful robots, it was sabotaged when T-Mac glitched her new line of “Super Droids” or “SD’s”, an elite lineup of ultra bots with drone capabilities. The Super Droids were comprised of the following robot leaders, each equipped with the power of their name to use against humanity:
1) Depression Man
2) Anxiety Man
3) Fear Man
4) Jealousy Man
5) Hate Man
6) Slander Man
7) Addiction Man
8) Confusion Man
The Robot Generation was almost completely destroyed by the power and actions of these evil beings, partially due to the fact that humans couldn’t work with the Robot Generation because their minds and emotions were controlled by the Super Droids power. Terror ran amuck in the southern region of Thothar again, and Dr. Yvonne knew she had to do something or the world would be destroyed.
She started working on a top secret project codenamed CDZJJJ, or project CD for short. Along with her fellow comrades ZB, NickZ, CounterFlordan, and CoolieJ, they worked nonstop under the most intense conditions underground. With most of the human race destroyed, Dr. Yvonne fused the human DNA of former Robot Generation lead programmer Cornelius Calhoun with an elite lightweight robot armor and named him Vintage Retroman, or V.R. for short. The named was developed because Cornelius loved the retro culture of his youth and spoke frequently about it.
As V.R. went through strenuous training, he gained strength and eventually set out on a mission to defeat the Super Droids! He knew that along with the strength of his armor, it was essential for him to be mentally ready to face the challenges of each Super Droid. As he battled and defeated each SD, he was granted their power! Power over depression, power over anxiety, power over fear, and so on! He would then take the power of overcoming these weaknesses and not only use them against his other enemies, but also grant strength back to the remaining humans in Thothar and give them courage.
Eventually V.R. defeated each leader and it was time for his final showdown with Dr. T-Mac. With his armor weakened from battle inside of a great fortress stronghold, T-Mac was a formidable villain. As hard as Vintage Retroman fought, Dr. T-Mac had years to plan and prepare for this. Every negative attack thrown at V.R. deeply penetrated his armor and damaged him. As T-Mac prepared to destroy him, in the 11th hour she felt weakness from within and her stronghold shook violently. What was happening she thought?
Dr. Yvonne remembered that T-Mac’s stronghold had a weakness. She remotely cracked into T-Mac’s computer system and disabled all of her weapons. Vintage Retroman mustered up enough strength to grab his blaster and deliver the final blow to T-Mac the terrible and the evil empire!
As the team that created the CDZJJJ project searched for Vintage Retroman, they eventually found him. He was beaten, battered and scorn almost to the point of death. They picked him up and carried him back to the lab.
As Dr. Yvonne removed his burnt up cracked armor, she look into the eyes of Cornelius Calhoun. “It’s finally over sir, you did it Cornelius. You saved Thothar!” As he looked up at her he stated “We did it Dr. Yvonne” with a slight smile. As he rested his head, Dr. Yvonne slowly reached down and kissed him in his weakened state. “I hope this gives you strength” she said with a smile. Cornelius was pleasingly shocked and said, “I didn’t even know you liked me.” Dr. Yvonne responded “Well, i couldn’t admit it because as you know i am no damsel in distress. I’m just as much in the fight against evil as you are. Now that the fight is over, let’s rebuild this world, and our lives together!” Cornelius responded “I’d love that!”, and they held each other and enjoyed the peace for a change. This is my story. Signing off for now,
I truly want to make each of my followers feel like a kid again! That is my overall goal. The nostalgic value of vintage and retro cultures makes people feel good! I do not blog for money or prestige. I write and post content for the people to enjoy, whether it’s one person or 10,000 people. This is why i love Instagram!
Instagram is a wonderful social media network that i truly enjoy. I consistently network with others because of my love for people and retro! Above is my page and screen name @vintageretroman. Please follow me. Love, peace, and happiness to all!
Where did these green clothes come from, how did I get here?/
Why do I look around and there’s nothing but an open field here?/
I observe and see the boulders and a couple of trees/
In dusty Hyrule field, no weapon, magic, or rupees/
My name is Link, I just got word that Zelda is missing/
The King of Hyrule’s going crazy, the castle’s in a frenzy/
They say that Gannon, the evil villain riding his black high horse/
Is on an vile mission trying to collect the other Triforce!/
That will not happen under my watch, I may be young but I’m brave!/
I look across the field, not sure if I should enter that dark cave/
I enter slowly and the wise man speaks with a cautious tone/
Lays out the wood sword and says “Take this, It’s dangerous to go alone!”